Several years ago, my wife & I identified core values for our family.

Our kids were young at the time, but I felt compelled to do something that would ensure the type of future relationships we wanted to have with them. We wanted to create an atmosphere where our kids felt comfortable talking to us about stuff that was important when they got older, and we knew we needed to start while they were young.

So we got away, went to a coffee shop, and created our Schmitz Family Guiding Principles.

(What can I say, I’m a nerd. My wife still hates that name – but loves the clarity we got as a result!)

Here’s the process we followed:

1. First, we described in vivid detail the type of future we wanted for our family.
2. Next, we identified the values we wanted to describe our family.
3. Finally, we listed out the habits we wanted to establish that would help us live out those values.

It was inspired by an exercise called “The Mission to Mars” I first saw in a book by Vern Harnisch called Scaling Up. It’s a business book, but I thought the process might work for my family as well.

It definitely did. In fact, I’d argue we got more out of doing the exercise personally than I ever did professionally.

Here are the values we ended up with:

• Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength
• Give selflessly by finding the need and meeting it
• Lead courageously and always stand for the truth
• Impact the culture and leave your own legacy
• Determine to be different and don’t settle for average

About a year after we identified them, I had a graphic designer friend make a manifesto-type graphic out of our core values and had it printed for Mother’s Day.

(BTW, my wife said it was the best I’ve ever given her, so feel free to steal the idea. 😉)

I had it framed, and our core values now hang on our living room wall:

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Having these core values established helps us make sure that our family is living in alignment. Everything we do gets filtered through them.

Your core values can (and arguably should) look a lot different than mine. Core values are very personal and should reflect who you really are. If you’ve never identified your own core values, I encourage you to have your own “Mission to Mars.” Here are some guiding questions to help you on your journey:

• What legacy would you like to leave behind?
• What are you passionate about?
• What really makes you happy in life?
• What do you value?
• What do you refuse to do?
• How do you measure success?
• How will people remember you?

When identifying your core values, don’t pick too many. Pick a few things that really represent and encapsulate who you are and who you want to become. You may also want to make them shorter, and that’s completely fine. The shorter they are, the easier they are to remember. And the easier they are to remember, the quicker they will become ingrained into your identity.

Until next time – keep going, and keep growing!

— Mike Schmitz

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