Overwhelmed by emotions?

Hello Reader,

You may find yourself wondering, “Now that COVID is “over,” why am I still so prone to feeling overwhelmed by my emotions?”

Almost everyone can say that they’ve felt emotionally overwhelmed over the past few years. These have been extraordinarily difficult times for many reasons–and even more difficult for business owners.

You’ve probably felt emotions related to isolation, business volatility, health challenges, and social restrictions, among other things. The emotions, such as anger, sadness, stress, and frustration and fear can sometimes become so intense as to feel unbearable.

These overwhelming emotions by their very nature can make you wonder if you’ll ever be able to manage them.

Holding emotions in is hard, but letting them out–when not done constructively–can cause harm to our relationships and our businesses

Part of what can make emotions feel so overwhelming is the impact of cumulative stress. It took two years to get to this state, and we will need some time to recuperate.

Don’t worry about making up for lost time.

Focus on recovery first.

​

Steps to ease emotional overwhelm

1. Acknowledge: This can be as simple as pausing, taking a breath, and saying to yourself, “Oh! I’m overwhelmed.”
2. Notice and describe sensations: You can say something to yourself like, “I’m noticing I’m overwhelmed. I’m noticing my heart is racing. I’m noticing my muscles are tense.”
3. Soothe: One of the most powerful soothing techniques is validation. You can then say things to yourself like: “No wonder you’re feeling overwhelmed. Anyone who has been through something like this would be feeling overwhelmed.”

​

Here are some other strategies to try.

​

Discharge

It can help you get out from under a wave of emotion when you can find an outlet. Emotionally, it can help to write out the thoughts and feelings, dump them into a voice memo, or tell them to a safe listener.

​

Engage the vagus nerve

The vagus nerve is a key part of the parasympathetic “rest and digest” system–the opposite of the fight/flight response. Increasing vagal tone can help you out of an overwhelmed emotional state.

Cold water on hands or face has been shown to stimulate the vagus nerve. So can chanting, singing, humming, gargling and yawning, because the vocal cord muscles are connected to the vagus nerve.

​

Use your social engagement system

Because we are human beings who are by nature wired for connection, we can use the safety cues we get from others to help us get out of an overwhelmed state.

A hug from a friend, a warm facial expression and tender eyes, and gentle “mmmhmmm” vocalizations from others whom we trust can help you get out of amygdala hijack.

​

Give yourself a time out

Sometimes eliminating stimulation helps calm you.

When you are overwhelmed, it can feel like a raw wound. When a raw wound is exposed to repeated touch, for example, it gets sorer and sorer, but if you leave it alone, it can heal.

The nervous system is the same. Quiet time can be very nourishing. A huddle under a blanket, a warm cup of tea, or whatever you find comforting can enhance the alone time and give your nervous system and your emotions a chance to settle.

​

Offer yourself kindness

All of the tips above are ways of being kind to yourself.

If you’ve done something when you were feeling overwhelmed, and you’re now feeling embarrassment and/or regret, the best thing to do is show yourself some kindness and understanding.

You can say things to yourself like, “I understand what happened. No wonder I did that. I was overwhelmed.”

​

We are stronger with support

It’s important to be aware that if you’re really activated, it can be hard, even with these strategies, to calm down from being overwhelmed.

It takes time, and ongoing care–usually for half an hour or more, and even after you’ve calmed down it can be important to continue to use calming and soothing tools to help yourself stay on an even keel.

Because humans are wired for interpersonal connection, getting out of an overwhelmed state can be tough when you’re on your own, and if this us you, it might help to acknowledge that it simply a human characteristic, and then to ask for help, because we are stronger with support.

​

Book a free call

If you’re a woman business owner who’d like support for dealing with emotional overwhelm, why not book a free call to see if we’d be a good fit to work together here?

Warmly,

​

​