Vacation Time
We don’t have enough time left with our sons.
I know, I know, we’ve all heard it, the time goes so quickly.
But, the problem is I ignored that advice. For the first eight to nine years as a dad, I was completely focused on my career.
It meant I missed too much of my boy’s lives.
I wasn’t there for a lot of things I wish I’d been there for.
I didn’t realize how much I enjoyed spending time with my sons and the value the two of them would receive for it.
What that means now is I try to be present.
The goal is to be there for all their major events.
Heck, it’s one of the reasons I quit my job was to be there with them.
Why I bring that up is some of you are parents and I don’t want the same mistakes for you that I made myself.
And, I also bring it up, because I’m on vacation so today’s going to be quick.
We’re in NYC with our two boys and the families of some of our oldest boy’s best friends.
We get quality time with the boys and they get quality time with their friends and time to grow by spending time in NYC on their own.
Five x Five
Today’s post is about perspective.
We’ve talked about perspective before and how much it matters.
When I read the headline of the 5 x 5 rule yesterday, it really stuck with me and I kept noodling it, over and over, so I could write to you today.
You see, here’s how the 5 x 5 rule works.
When you’re dealing with an issue, you simply ask yourself a question, will this matter to me in five years.
If it’s something that won’t matter to you in five years, let it go. Don’t spend more than 5 minutes on it.
Let me give you an example with my youngest son.
If I give him critical advice, something as simple as stop eating with your hands, he feels like I’m picking on him. He feels as if he’s being bullied and he noodles it over and over until he snaps.
If he were to use the 5 x 5 rule, he could simply say to himself, this doesn’t matter, I can let it go and he’d be much better for it.
What it got me thinking about were a few other important things I want to bring up.
It Isn’t About You
I share this a lot, because it’s something we need to be aware of.
So often, when someone is harsh with us, we spend so much time dwelling on it.
But, we need to remember. It’s isn’t about us. It’s about them.
When we can realize it’s about them, we can let it go.
We can not waste five minutes on it.
How to Handle Critical Feedback
I have a simple recipe I use for how to deal with critical feedback.
No, it isn’t to get my back up, be pissed off, and become passive aggressive.
Trust me, too many people choose that route.
It’s to ask myself a series of questions:
- Is this feedback accurate?
- If it isn’t I can let it go
-
If it is real, I can ask another question:
- Do I want to do something about this?
- If the answer is no, let it go
- If the answer is yes, take some action
I’ve had a friend say they chose to do this slightly differently and I appreciated their feedback, so I’ll share it with you.
Their feedback is to look at it and say What if this critical feedback was true. How would I change my behavior.
Use either.
Use them to reduce your stress.
Reversible Decisions
The last one I want you to think about.
When you’re wrestling with a decision, ask yourself is this decision reversible.
Generally, there are two types of decisions:
- Reversible
- Non-reversible
Jeff Bezos talks about these types of decisions as open doors and closed doors.
An open door, or reversible, decision, is a decision that isn’t permanent. If you make a mistake, you can fix it. You can go backward. These decisions you can make quickly and don’t have to spend a lot of your time on them. They’re not 5 year decisions, they’re in the moment, so they can be quick.
A closed-door, or non-reversible, decision is one that can’t be undone and could have a five-year impact or more. These decisions are not made quickly. They are decisions you dwell on and contemplate, and you should get external advice on them.
Latticework
Something that jumped out at me as I wrote this is the importance of what Charlie Munger always talked about, which is your mental latticework.
If you consciously develop and apply a Latticework of Mental Models, you can view problems from different perspectives and explore various options, which allows you to solve problems using a wide range of cognitive tools, rather than relying on a single solution.
What you don’t want to be is the Man with a Hammer.
To the Man with a Hammer, every problem appears to be a nail.
When you learn a new idea, like the 5 x 5 rule, ask yourself, how does this tie to other ideas I already have in my latticework.
TGG Podcast
This week on the Growth Guide Podcast, I spoke to Anne Lester about their book, Your Best Financial Life: Save Smart Now for the Future You Want.
Anne shares her experience of overcoming a significant financial setback and how it led her to understand the crucial link between personal behavior and financial decisions.
In this episode, we dive into:
- The changing financial landscape for different generations
- Practical advice on managing cash flow, debt, and investing.
- The impact of social media and the internet on spending habits
Last Word
I love hearing from readers and I’m always looking for feedback. How I’m doing with the Growth Guide. Is there anything you want to see more of or less? Which aspects of the Newsletter or Podcast do you like the most?
Hit reply, say hello, and let me know what you think of the 5 x 5 rule.
I’d love to chat with you!
All my best,
Clint
