I cam across these tweet recently from Tiago Forte, the founder of Building a Second Brain:

You don’t rise to the level of your aspirations; you fall to the level of your habits

Over the long term, it is the habits you default to when you’re tired, stressed, short of time, and indecisive that really matter

— Tiago Forte (@fortelabs) June 1, 2022

The first line I had heard before from James Clear (it’s the foundation for his book, Atomic Habits), but that second part really got me thinking about my default behaviors.

For example, here are some of my default behaviors:

When I’m stressed, my default is to grab a snack (I tend to go for chips or ice cream)
When I’m overwhelmed, my default is to jump in and try to fix everything at once (even if a lot of it isn’t really mine to fix!)
When I’m tired, my default is to scroll through Twitter

Once I recognize my default behaviors, I can work now to change them. For some of the things on my list, simple awareness is enough to help me make positive change.

But others require some work.

One thing I’ve learned about changing defaults is that consistency is key. You can’t just do it once in awhile – you have to do it over, and over, and over again.

You have to show up every day, regardless of what you feel like.

It’s one thing to work out when you slept well and things are going well at work/home. But it’s another thing to do it when it feels like the universe is actively working against you. And it’s those workouts when don’t feel like it that are the most important.

That’s where you change your defaults.

Over time, your feelings and preferences can change. I hated running at first, but once I disconnected from the goal of running a race, I learned to love the process.

I changed my default, which resulted in a lot of benefits to my physical and mental health.

This doesn’t just apply to physical exercise. In thinking about some of my defaults that I want to change, I can easily identify positive action triggers to nudge me in a different, desired direction:

I can stock healthy snack like fruit and nuts to push me towards healthier eating habits
I can incorporate mindfulness practices into my morning and evening routines to help keep me grounded
I can carry a book around instead of my phone and read during those small gaps of time iI would typically fill with social media

You have default behaviors in every area of your life. And if you want to change your defaults, you simply need to nudge yourself in the right direction with small, deliberate right actions.

If you change your actions, you will change your mind. If you change your mind, you will change your life!

The frustrating but beautiful thing about behavior change is the process never finished. You don’t reach a point where now you don’t ever have to think about it anymore.

You are always making changes to your behavior patterns!

We are living, breathing, habit-performing machines. The choice before us is: are we going to perform these habits with intention or by default?

Living with intention doesn’t mean we do things perfectly. But it means we’re paying attention to the results. It means we’re willing to think about why things happen the way they do and consider what alternatives are available to us.

In closing, I leave you with a question: What are your default behaviors? What are the things you find yourself mindlessly doing when you are tired, stressed, short of time, or indecisive?

And even more importantly, what could you be doing instead?

What one thing could you do today to move in the direction of your desired behavior change?

The goal is progress, not perfection.

Until next time – keep going, and keep growing!

— Mike Schmitz

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When you ask the right questions, the answers become clear. In this video, I share the 3 questions I use as part of my Personal Retreat framework to gain clarity, eliminate confusion, and create momentum around my goals.