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BFW-How to Influence Others Ethically: Lessons from Influence is Your Superpower
Dear Reader,
We often find ourselves in situations where influencing others can make a difference. Whether you’re aiming to negotiate a better deal, creating positive change, or simply building stronger relationships, ethical influence can be your superpower. In this edition of Brain Food Wednesdays, issue 203, I delve into valuable insights from Zoe Chance’s book, Influence is Your Superpower, and explore how you can harness the art of ethical influence to make a positive impact.
The Power of Influence:
As Zoe Chance beautifully puts it, “Influence is your superpower.” It’s a skill that empowers you to create change, direct resources, and move hearts and minds. But remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Ethical influence is about using your superpower for the greater good, while respecting the autonomy and interests of others.
According to Chance:
“Even some of my favorite influence gurus like Robert Cialdini and Chris Voss encourage us to use “weapons of influence” for “beating our opponents.” Marketers (I’m one of them) refer to customers as “targets,” like a pickup artist or a con artist might. Academic researchers (I’m one of them, too) have called study participants “subjects” and their experiments “manipulations.” Transactional influence treats people like objects.”
Building Relationships as the Foundation:
The cornerstone of ethical influence is building and maintaining strong relationships. Just as Chance suggests, “If you want people to be happy to say yes both today and in the future, become someone people want to say yes to.” This means you should focus on establishing trust, rapport, and understanding with those you wish to influence.
Empathy as a Catalyst:
Empathy plays a crucial role in ethical influence. Chance emphasizes the importance of listening to others, not just for what they say, but for what remains unspoken. By labeling emotions and reflecting on what you’ve heard, you make others feel seen and understood. This not only calms emotional reactions but also fosters a deeper connection. Empathy is a key component in ethical influence, and it’s a skill you can be honed.
Ten Misperceptions of Influence:
Chance highlights ten common misconceptions about influence, shedding light on how ethical influence differs from manipulation. For instance, it’s a fallacy that being pushy makes you influential. In reality, giving people the option to say no often leads to a more positive response. Influence is about inviting, not pressuring.
Another misconception is that people decide based on facts. In reality, emotions play a significant role, and facts are used to justify those emotions. Recognizing these misperceptions is essential to practicing ethical influence.
The Science of Influence:
In “Influence is Your Superpower,” Chance introduces the concept of System 1 and System 2 thinking. While System 2 is our conscious, rational mind, System 1 is the instinctive, emotional first responder. Ethical influence leverages the power of System 1 thinking. Understanding this cognitive framework can help you craft messages and requests that resonate with people’s intuitive responses.
Making It Easy:
Ease is the bedrock principle of influencing behavior. Chance reveals that ease is the single best predictor of behavior, surpassing motivation, price, quality, or satisfaction. The Customer Effort Score, a simple question about how easy a task was, can explain one-third of a person’s willingness to take action.
So, if you want to influence others ethically, make it easy for them. Simplify processes, reduce barriers, and ensure that your requests are straightforward and hassle-free.
The Magic Question:
One of the powerful techniques discussed in the book is the “Magic Question,” which is, “What will it take?” This question can reframe a situation, making it less adversarial and more collaborative. It conveys respect and encourages creative problem-solving, a critical element of ethical influence.
Kindly Brontosaurus:
Ethical influence often involves saying “no” when necessary. However, you can say no in a polite and assertive manner. This is where the “Kindly Brontosaurus” strategy comes into play. Maintain your boundaries without being rude, and people are more likely to respect your decisions.
Face-Saving Plan B:
In ethical influence, ultimatums should be avoided. Instead, use a Face-Saving Plan B. This strategy shows strength and flexibility by providing alternatives, ensuring that both parties retain their choices. Face-Saving Plan B is a valuable tool for maintaining a positive, open negotiation atmosphere.
Red Flags of Manipulation:
Chance’s book also offers insights into recognizing the red flags of manipulation. Urgency, exclusivity, and offers that sound too good to be true are warning signs. Ethical influence involves transparency and a genuine concern for the well-being of others, not exploiting their vulnerabilities.
The Importance of Trust:
Building and maintaining trust is a pivotal aspect of ethical influence. Trustworthy advisers focus on long-term relationships rather than short-term transactions. They communicate openly, listen actively, and ensure that the other party feels heard and valued.
Effective Communication:
Effective communication is essential to ethical influence. Good communication allows people to express their needs, desires, and concerns in a healthy and productive way. It also helps others see you in a better light. Tailor your communication to the preferences of the other person, whether through email, phone calls, or in-person meetings.
Conclusion:
Ethical influence is a powerful tool that can lead to positive outcomes in various aspects of life. By embracing the principles and techniques from Zoe Chance’s book, “Influence is Your Superpower,” you can become a master of ethical influence. Remember, it’s not about manipulation or coercion, but about building strong, trusting relationships, empathizing with others, and making it easy for them to say “yes.” As you practice ethical influence, you’ll find that your superpower can be a force for good, benefiting not only yourself but also those around you.
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Stay tuned for more Brain Food next Wednesday!
Warm regards,
Avil Beckford
Brain Food Wednesday Editor
Avil Beckford, Founder, The Invisible Mentor & Art of Learning Leadership Academy
theinvisiblementor.com artoflearningleadershipacademy.com
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